Mother's Day is lovely in theory BUT usually flawed in reality.
It can be a heart-wrenchingly painful day, touching for others or a disappointment - maybe all three!
Here's how to not only survive but get through Mother's Day with maximum goodness.
It is for mothers with and without partners to celebrate them; mothers whose babies never made it; children of mothers who were wonderful but are not near by or no longer in this realm; children of mothers who frankly, did not mother much at all; AND women who mother beautifully but haven't had the chance to mother their own babes.
My solution is simple: Let's make mother's day about mothering ourselves beautifully.
If you have heart ache on Mother's Day.
Life is brutal and beautiful, as Glennon Doyle Melton often says.
It isn't fair, nope. Not one bit.
You may not have your mother here.
Maybe you were never mothered well to begin with.
You may not have the child you so deeply wanted.
I am so so sorry. I can't know your pain, but I am so sorry for your heart-ache and the pain of your journey.
What to do...
Self-care - wrap yourself up in a cocoon and love yourself like crazy.
- For the love of God, do not go on social media.
- Cook or buy beautiful meals at home for the day.
- Make it a favourite things day - movies, food, snuggly things, music.
- Stock up the day before and avoid cafes etc if you can.
- Write it out.
- Cry it out.
- Be tender with yourself.
if you just want a freakin great mother's day
Work out what would make it feel great.
Do you want...
Time with your children or mother?
To be deeply acknowledged for all that you do verbally, in writing, through gifts, through hugs, through action?
For your children to express how they feel about you?
All of the above?
Then guess what - you need to get specific.
If you have someone that will work on this with you, e.g. older children or a partner, tell them exactly what you want.
Telepathy is a self-defeating desire!
If you are paddling your own canoe for whatever reason, you still need to put thought into it and get specific.
Aren't you worth that bit of planning time and a lovely day?
Take the wheel and make it what your heart and soul needs.
If you want to step out of your roles for a weekend, drop being a mother or not being a mother, drop the job and the partner status and be YOU (do your remember who that is?), come along to my beautiful weekend retreat in June. It's going to be restorative, fun, delicious and frankly, awesome. There aren't many spots left, so arrange what you need to, call in favours and follow what you need for once.