There's something that I just have to address. I see it again and again, it's so culturally engrained and it's so destructive (and changeable).
Expecting ourselves to be inexhaustible, unstoppable, emotionally constant, endlessly on fire.
Hard truth (for us all): You are not a perfect robot.
1. You cannot work all hours without being tired and needing quality rest, proper breaks and sufficient sleep.
This is a fact, whether your work is paid work or unpaid work (parenting, caregiving, household work, volunteering) or both. Sleep, rest and BREAKS are critical to a fabulous life.
2. Shit happens in life that will slow you down and sometimes stop you in your tracks.
We like to think that we are together enough and in control enough that we are unstoppable. That just isn't true. We can't ignore nor shake off the big things of life that hit us, nor should we. They are meaning makers, they are strength builders, they are compassion growers. They create depth and they are unavoidable!
3. You don't have to be (and can't be) emotionally constant.
This actually makes me laugh because there are some people that I still think are like this until they tell me otherwise. We all feel a range of emotions and we are meant to. We can be happy, jealous, angry, sad, moved, empathetic, jubilant and so on. There is no such thing as a bad emotion, so let's not berate ourselves when we are sad for 'too long' or angry. All emotions carry with them important information.
4. No one keeps inspired and motivated all the time.
That's right, inspiration and motivation are states to seek out and to stoke, like a fire but even then, are still emotional states, so it will come and go. You'll forget you wanted to work out more for a while until you wake up and remember how good it feels. You'll stop using that time blocking tool you know helps you smash it out at work until you remember and start again. We all wake and fall asleep and wake again.
So what is life about if it's not about that narrow, harsh focus?
What if it's about living into a human experience, with all the messiness, emotion, constant change, RICHNESS and DEPTH.
What if it's about learning to care for ourselves so that we get to truly live that is utterly unique and perfect for us?
What if it's about adoring ourselves through it all? Being our soft place to fall. Loving ourselves just because we are here. Convincing ourselves that we are enough, always, the way we would to any beloved?
It's time to care deeply for all of you in your beautiful, imperfect humanity.
Drop the whip and embrace self-compassion.
With so much love,