When we want to do things differently in our life, we generally look for motivation to do it.
Something that KILLS ME is when clients try to find that motivation through harsh self-criticism.
You cannot berate yourself into changing your behaviours, thoughts, habits… not long term and for many of us, not short term.
If you do succeed through self-criticism (and the odds are stacked against you if you do) then the result is you with that new behaviour who has been emotionally abused for however long.
We all have that voice in our head that tells us we can do EVERYTHING better. Yep, if you weren’t so lazy, thick, stubborn, [insert insult] you could act, think, look and feel SO much better.
It hurts to even type this!
The inner critic is a nasty piece of work inside us all with the best of intentions. It wants to protect us and keep us safe in the world but it does so by shaming us and paralysing us.
No one does beautifully by shaming and criticising themselves into change. Don’t believe their song about how they are the paths to the life you want.
It’s all lies.
Shame and self-criticism and seductive and toxic frenemies.
We are flowers that bloom under nurturing conditions. It's scientifically proven, so sing a different tune...
One that is actually motivating and grounded in adoring imperfectly perfect you.
If you struggle with that inner critic and with being compassionate and wonderful to yourself, you might love to learn more in my new online course! Check it out here!
P.S. It's time to get happy at work, my friend!
1. Join the Conscious Ambition Group and connect with other smart, fabulous women who are boosting their work-lives each week. This is my Facebook community where talented women learn to get more confidence and peace-of-mind and find more fulfilment through work. Click here to join.
2. Work with me privately.