There's being in a rut and being in a groove and heaven knows we all feel the difference just reading that sentence.
Grooves feel good. Ruts do not.
But sometimes getting out of a rut feels like an impossibility and we are there, wading through molasses, truly wanting out but not seeing any way forward.
Being online, attached to your work emails or gaming most nights is a great example of being stuck in a rut. You might get a buzz every now and then with something interesting or amusing happens* but often you don't even want to be doing it.
It's just habit you've out grown - A RUT!
You're still on there because it's serving you to get an easy kick, to avoid boredom, to connect or to avoid feelings or situations you don't want to face.
That's okay, but you're reading this because that rut is feeling sucky.
It aint your friend no more.
One solution to getting out of a rut is to chase your joys like your life depends on it.
If you've been online and a bit numb to your everyday life, you might not know where to start.
Here's a few amazing kick starters to help you find your spark and chase that joy you've been missing out on.
Grab a piece of paper and write down the answer to this (without thinking) for five minutes.
- I am happiest when I am..... with....
- If I could do anything I would....
- If I had a week off work/parenting I would...
- I day dream about getting back into... (what did you love doing that you stopped?)
- I know I'd love doing more... (what's working that you could do more of?)
Now, do three things.
- Pick the one you can do this week and schedule it in. Tell everyone you're doing it. Get excited.
- Read over your list and pick what makes your body charge up and spark. Start planning how you can make it happen.
- Tell the voice in your head that is worried and afraid about everything AND thinks you can't do anything different (everyone has this) that it's all good, you got this.
Okay four things...
4. Give yourself permission to have a happy life and go do something fun, however small.
Let me know how you go!
With love,
Lara
*By the way this variation of a reward is a key feature of addictive activities. They give you a buzz every so often, not every time, so you keep coming back (think about pokies/slot machines, scratchies etc).
Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.