Do you beat yourself up to keep yourself in line, to achieve, to excel, to just keep going?
You might call it 'high standards' (*ahem*), but it has a nasty undertone. It looks like picking at yourself, saying and doing things that you would never do or say to someone else.
I bet it's worked for you for a long time.
It's probably been at your side for some huge successes!
It works (to a point) but it will never get you where you want to go in one piece.
Real motivation comes from a different place that we are rarely taught about.
Before we go there, let's talk about the downside of using a whip as motivation.
The destructive force of the whip method
Do you remember the last time you got a really nasty comment?
That feeling of stinging across your body as the insult sunk in?
How your whole mind turned to it, your body reacted to it.
You might have been left depressed, shamed, tired.
Now ask yourself, how many times you have used insults to motivate yourself.
How many times have you used judgement and comparisons.
Made yourself feel that you are not good enough.
Driven yourself with fear.
The results?
The result of the whip method is being tired, flat, running on adrenaline.
Never feeling good enough or safe.
Comparing yourself to others.
Burnout.
Anxiety and depression.
Disconnection from your true self.
We fear dropping the whip, that we wont achieve anymore, that we will end up lazy, fat, unproductive and unsuccessful. It's all just mind noise. Not true, my friend.
A new approach to motivation.
To understand this method, imagine three groups of students that are learning a difficult task.
One group has a teacher that yells at them. Some may learn, some may shut down, all will be stressed and to some extent, not operating from their whole brain (fear shuts off parts of our brains).
One group has a teacher who puts them down, points out their weaknesses. Some may overcome this and learn, some may shut down and give up, internalising their 'flaws'.
The last group of students has a teacher that is a compassionate, supportive witness. The teacher supports the students in their struggles. The children are emotionally safe to learn and grow. Evidence shows that children (and adults) need emotional safety to thrive and learn.
Is your mind emotionally safe for you to grow and learn?
Any life task that we find difficult, represents a challenge that we need to approach with lovingkindness.
The result of approaching challenges with internal support and compassion is infinitely more energy, a deeper connection to self and a more positive outlook on your life and better self-worth.
Um, who doesn't want that?
I have a little gift for you to help make that happen. I'm going to do some free training on Monday 17th April at 8pm AEST. The training is on the eight (plus) different types of motivation you can use to add to this loving approach I'm advocating for. SO handy to know which ones work for you and start integrating them!
Click here and sign up for it - you can come along or listen to the recording.
What I want for you is to know yourself deeply and to bring your conscious ambitions to life!
You can do this!
Huge love,
Lara xx
