You rocked this year: Time to pat yourself on the back

Hooray, you did it! You got through this year!!!

Wow, it was a doozy. Well done. You're still here.

You got up each day, got dressed and did what you had to do (mostly).

You survived this crazy, amazing, disturbing, spectacular world for another year.

You made some people's lives sweeter by being yourself sometimes.

You fed yourself and had some laughs.

You comforted others when they were down.

I'm inviting you to pat yourself on the back for the teeny tiny and the huge things you did this year. For what you survived, for where you flourished, for those small steps forward in healing and embracing life that we all need to take.

Now I have a challenge for you. 

Focus on what you want to say "yes" to in 2017.

There is a reason for this and it's two-fold...

"The better you are at saying yes, the better you will be at saying no" - Louise Hay

Knowing what you want to say "yes" to, helps clarify what you don't want in your life anymore. Two extremely handy and life affirming outcomes!

So what do you want to say "yes" to?

Jot down five things that are a full body "yes" for you. Put them anywhere you will see them and commit to making them happen.

Share them with your friends and support each other to make them happen! Better yet, share this post with them too :)

You have this choice!

Go get it!

With love, 

Lara xx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

Let it go: What is it time to drop in 2017?

I spoke to a dear friend the other day and she sounded surprisingly fantastic.

Vibrant, engaged, happy!

You might be forgiven for thinking that her life is easy breezy.

Let me tell you, it is not.

She is in the middle of some of the most stressful situations imaginable.

So what made the difference for her?

In her words "I've stopped pushing sh*t uphill"

How glorious. She took two days and thought through her life. She let a whole bunch of big things go.

She stopped fighting reality and found herself again.

This type of surrender to reality is not to be confused with giving up. It is nothing of the sort. It is more like the Serenity Prayer -

“Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”

Inspired by her, I'm asking you today, to think about what you need to accept and let go of?

What sh*t are you pushing up hill?

Where do you need to accept the things you cannot change?

In relationships, in yourself, in your life?

Your challenge, is to accept and let go. To use the energy you are wasting on something more worthwhile – nourishing yourself, your loved ones and the wider world. 

Give it a try. When you feel yourself moving to fight the old, tired, hopeless fight, make a different choice. Get free where you can.

There are bigger fish to fry and the changes you can make will require the energy you gain.

How exciting!

With love,
Lara xx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

Why you need never worry about failure again.

Have you ever thought of an idea, a new career or adventure, even a totally different outfit, something that you'd love? You're excited for a minute or a day but promptly drop the idea?

"I could never pull that off", "I wont be good enough"... basically, "What if I fail?".

If these are questions you're asking yourself, then you're still believing that two critical things about failure that are getting in your way (Spoiler alert: Neither are true, really!). 

Whether your just dipping your toe into action or a seasoned adventurer, follow these tips and you'll never be stopped by fear of failure again!

What is the difference between being comfortable with "failure" and fearing it?

1. Confusing what "failure" really is.

Sometimes it feels like avoiding failure is built into our DNA. But what is failure? Put simply, failure is an outcome that you didn't want, that you judge as bad.

Understood this way, you see that to fail is purely subjective. One person's failure, perhaps starting a business that didn't take off or asking out someone who said "no", is someone else's challenge to overcome. It could even be someone's victory!

Growing up, billionaire Sarah Blakely was asked every week at her dinner table "What did you fail at this week?". The idea was that you got points for trying, not for playing it safe. 

"Failure" is just information, just data to collect. It's an opportunity to learn. 

I saw a great post the other day that said "Babies don't try to walk once, fail and then decide it's not for them". 

HINT: Take a growth mindset instead of a black and white, fixed mindset. If you don't know about growth mindsets, you should! Read about it here. Things not working out a.k.a failure, can be the beginning, not the end. 

2. Confusing what "failure" means.

The biggest problem I see is related to the idea of a fixed mindset – you've either got "it" or you don't. You'll either fail or you'll succeed.

Taken from this viewpoint, if you fail, it means that you are faulty. 

Being flawed, rather than just being a learner (growth mindset) can send people into a shame spiral.

Shame is so powerful a deterrent that it can leave us shut down, in agony and shaking in our boots. 

The thing is that "failing" is just information and it doesn't mean we are flawed. It means we tried something that didn't work out this time and gave us lots of useful information. Using my examples from earlier, it might meant that you try a different type of business or a different business partner, it might mean that you ask someone out after talking with them a little longer instead of on the spot.

So what will you do? Dare to collect information ("fail") or die living?

I hope you choose to live fully, precious one!

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WEREN'T AFRAID TO FAIL? 

It's time to go for it!

Are you afraid of failing on the work front? Helping you find and go for a bigger or more fulfilling career is my specialty! If you're ready for a breakthrough click here to find out more about working together.

xx Lara

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

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*Top photo credit - Teddy Kelly, Portrait by Meaghan Harding, Melbourne

"It's too late to change careers" and other lies we tell ourselves.

Let me guess, you'd love to do something different with your work, whether it's a side-step or a total change... but you are stopped by these types of thoughts:

 

"It's too late to change your career".

"You're on this path and You need to stick with it".

"You have no other *real* choiceS".

But is that true? Really?

If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that we all make up stories and treat them as facts. Some stories are helpful and others keep us stuck doing the same old thing, no matter how much we want a different experience. 

It's time for that to change.

One story that I hear over and over is that someone can't go after the career or business that they really want because it's too late. They've invested so much in what they've done so far and don't want to have 'wasted' their working lives. 

I definitely believed this story. 

I had devoted SO much time, energy and study into being a researcher. I genuinely thought it would be impossible to have another career. 

Even though I was exhausted and disillusioned and my body was making it's opinions known (a month in bed, terrible health problems - more of that story here). I was clinging to the idea that it was too late. That I had no other real options.

It took me months of crashing and burning to come around to the idea that I actually had choice. That I could mix things up in my career. That most of what was standing in my way was fear.

So, is it true that it's too late to change your career?

Well, let's look at three facts.

Times have changed.

We will be working until we are 70 years old. Put that way, you still have the majority of your working life AHEAD of you. Ten, 15 or even 20 years of work under your belt is still less time than you have left to work. So it might actually be the perfect time to change careers or start up a side business!

There's no rush.

Often people worry about the financial implications of changing careers and to that I say, there is no rush. You can study one unit a semester, not full-time. You can start a teeny tiny business on the side. You can volunteer at different places and try them out. You can have coffee with a handful of people in the industry you love over the next two years. Let things percolate. Let the vision of your life have time to take shape.

No knowledge or experience is wasted.

It's common for clients to worry that all their experiences and knowledge will be down the tube if they change careers. This just isn't true. Think about it. Did you bring anything at all from your last job into this job? From your first business into this business? There are things that I bring from my first jobs when I was 13/14 years old into what I do now. No knowledge or experience is wasted. It all makes you better, more thoughtful and informed. 

So... if you will let yourself play around with the idea of changing careers. Let's have some fun!

Ask yourself, if I could only do what I loved and what felt good to me, what job would I do? It might surprise you.

Let yourself daydream. What would your ideal job be? What do you love doing? What are you good at? What can you learn to do?

Follow joy and let yourself daydream. Explore options. Dip your toe in. Take the pressure off.

In doing this – following joy and dipping her toe in – one of my clients discovered a creative business opportunity that suits her perfectly, brings her huge joy and can be built while she works in her usual 9-5pm. Who knows what she will end up doing (she has so many wonderful options!) but right now she is following what feels great and it is making her shine.

Lastly, what would you do if you weren't afraid? 

This question cuts through a lot of crap. What would you do? Then, what are you afraid of? Are you going to let fear run your life?

As I always say, find the next small step and take it. Just a tiny one, then another and see where you end up!

You can absolutely do this!

Helping you find and go for a bigger or more fulfilling career is my jam. I've got an awesome deal now for you to jump on! Click here to find out more and book in today.

xx Lara 

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

Why you should keep your day job (while you go for the business your dreams).

It seems like everyone I talk to lately wants to start a business. There are so many opportunities these days and when we see others fulfilling their dreams a part of us perks up and says "ooh, me too!". That is a good thing – so good! The next thought is often quitting your job, but there are a few good reasons not to hand in your resignation letter just yet...

Drop it like it's hot

We all hear the stories about people who "just knew" what their business would be and then proceeded to quit their job with $35 in the bank and build incredible business empires. This is such an appealing story! It's a hero's journey with a successful outcome. It is all guts and glory. It is also part of the reason why so many businesses fail in their first year. 

Don't get me wrong, jumping into things head first is totally my jam. I'm a quick start on the Kolbe index. But jumping in AND leaving your parachute behind (in the form of your day job), is not the smartest move for a few reasons.

Firstly, it creates too much pressure.

When we are highly pressured financially, all our decisions come from that place. It makes you reek of desperation trying to get business. It also makes you more stressed, less creative and less likely to take the calculated risks you need to make (over and over) to have a thriving business. 

So how about working a steady job but compromising to ease the pressure a bit. There are many ways to configure your working week: work on the weekend for a while, keep your day job but cut down your hours or get a part-time job instead. 

Keeping another income stream gives you the peace of mind and finances to really build the business that YOU want. It means you can try and fail over and over (also known as collecting vital business information). It may seem slower, but it has a much higher chance of succeeding and you get wiggle room that will allow you more time, creativity and risk taking overall. 

Secondly, it keeps some kind of structure to your day. 

When you quit your job straight away you have lots of time to work on your business. This is great in many ways but it can give you a little too much time. Time for self-sabotaging thoughts to take over (get a free guide here). Time to get lonely. Time to spend down rabbit holes online. 

It can be a blessing in disguise to have a limited time to work on your business at the start. Concentrated time working on it, surrounded by other blocks of time to think and doing other things, including your day job, can work really well. 

Thirdly, a steady job provides social contact.

As I said, quitting your job and working on a business solo can get lonely. Whether it's talking rubbish about the Bachelorette or celebrating the latest life event it's great to have colleagues around. While you build your new community, it's great to appreciate and enjoy your work community. 

There's one thing that people worry about when they decide to keep a day job while building their business. That it will somehow doom your business ("I didn't 100% commit!"), signal you didn't really want it or that you will lose motivation. 

The key is to know where you are invested, deep down.

Keeping your day job for a while doesn't mean that you have to invest your heart and soul in that job.

You can commit to your business, while still doing what you know well for a portion of your week. If you're running a business that is soul or passion driven, it's unlikely you'll lose motivation. It will have a drive of it's own. Knowing your 'why' is the foundation of it all.

Why are you running this business? 

It is uncomfortable for a while, straddling two worlds, but it will be worth it. You will know when to make the big leap. Trust that.

By the way, if you're not quite sure what business you want to start or job you want to move into, this is one of my favourite ways to help my clients.

I want to hear from you!

Are you planning a new business?

What questions do you have that are holding you back?

What expert do you currently turn to for an outside perspective? Or do you need someone?

Fill me in below, and let’s see if we can get you on track so you can move through the discomfort and take action!

xx Lara

P.S. Sign up to receive useful and inspiring posts like this one! I've got you covered.

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

Listening to ourselves is scary but the alternative is terrifying

I am an absolute whirl of emotion right now. Ever since I really started listening to myself, that inner voice and the way my body reacts to things, and responded to it, I've been asked to make tiny and huge changes. 

I know from past experience that blissful periods after I've done the hard thing(s), but then I'm called to act again. It's worth it, always, but GOD it can suck.

I'm in one of those phases right now. Knowing big changes are calling but scared, confused and digging my heels in a little. 

There's a reason that people stay in jobs, relationships and cities that they aren't that happy with – listening to ourselves and acting on what we hear sets off our fear response.

RED ALERT!

The fear part of our minds goes into overdrive about all that we will lose, how we will be poor, rejected and miserable. 

It scares us into submission and so we go another day, another year, another decade, too frightened to attend to the changes we are being asked to make.

What do you miss out on by ignoring yourself?

Peace, adventure, contentment, knowing and being our true selves.

To respond to yourself authentically, you must be courageous, stepping forward even when you are truly afraid. 

Sure, sometimes it feels fun and easy but it's not always easy.

Sometimes it is agonising and excruciating.

BUT

“... the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin.

It gets really painful to resist the change or the action.

I know when I'm needing to make big changes when I dive into old patterns of avoidance. 

I eat and eat. I go online again and again. I procrastinate. I want to sleep a lot.

I resist even though I can coach myself about my thinking, because the fear is huge. 

I resist even though I know I like myself so much better after I act, even though I know that fear thoughts are lies and that I can cope with anything life throws at me eventually, because I have me and am held by something greater. 

I resist these big things and make little steps in the direction I know I must go, then I forget for a while, then resist again.

It's okay to go slow

I think that our bodies, minds and spirits need time, sometimes, to work through the layers of fear. To let go, bit by bit of the things we thought we needed.

The alternative to listening and moving forward is horrible

Change is a certainty in life.

We can either choose to act in favour of what we are called to do, to become more deeply ourselves, more deeply peaceful and fulfilled or we can choose to ignore and resist, getting stagnant, flat and avoiding living.

Not much of a choice, really: Freedom or imprisoned by fear.

Learning to work with fear and understand what you really want in life are cornerstones of living free and fulfilling lives.

Revive:Melbourne is starting next weekend on the 18th September!! Join Chafia and I for a transformative three weeks of mini-workshops (two hours, 1-3pm Sunday 18th, 25th Sept and 1st October) to spend time reconnecting your mind and body, to get a handle on fear, make goals and work from the outside in and the inside out to shift your life in the right direction. Buy your tickets today and start the next chapter of your life.

Next month on the 15th October, I'll be running a two hour power session in Canberra, concentrating on understanding and working successfully with fear, learning how to gauge what you really want using your body as a 'compass' and to set meaningful and exciting goals. Three things sure to have your life moving in the direction you want! Get clear, confident and upskilled so that you can be your best advisor in life. Join us at Unblocked:Canberra. The place for people on a mission for their best lives. 

With love,
Lara xx

P.S. I'll be blogging a little less often now (it was twice a week) and doing monthly newsletters from now on. Life is overflowing and I'll all about walking the talk, so I'm reigning things in a bit! People get too many emails anyway, so this will be good for everyone ;) If you want to make sure you get all my posts, like my page on Facebook.

Thanks for your support and for sharing my work. I am so delighted that it resonates with so many people. That's what it's hear for!

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

Busy? What you must include in your day to stay healthy and happy.

Gah, we're all busy, aren't we? Sure, it's used as the badge of 'an important person' but it also feels true. It feels like time is limited and that there is too much to do each day. The thing is, even if we didn't need sleep, there would always be more to do than we can each day, so let's look at how to live well when we are busy and  to avoid the pitfalls most people fall into when time is short.

When you're busy, what do you drop?

I spent the last year or so interviewing lots of different types of workers about how they use their time each day and how it impacts on their wellbeing. Here's the bottom line, when time is scarce, health and happiness usually suffers.

I could just about put money on what you drop when you get really busy. I spent the last year studying it through research I conducted with a team at the Australian National University. 

Now before I go further, I want to point out that people aren't short on time simply due to time management issues. This is especially true at work, where most people are conscious of prioritising and so on. There are bigger trends to do with government policies on working hours, work becoming more time pressured and the 24/7 economy that are really making us feel the time squeeze. That's without going into child care issues and the like.

Time pressure and long hours don't actually make us more productive and actually risk our mental and physical health, but workplaces and government policies haven't really caught on to this well established research...

So what do we do in the meantime?

Research that I did with the Work, Time and Health team showed that when people get busy, say working long hours, physical activity is the first thing to go. We also make meals shorter and shorter, eat at our desks, cut down on sleep and stop seeing friends and family as much. Yep, when we get busy, life gets narrow and decidedly one-dimensional. 

It's baffling how we drop all the things that make life worth living and that sustain us, in favour for things that give us no real energy (internet, smartphones) that we believe help us recover.

More interesting still, is how we actively ignore our body calling for the things that actually help us thrive aka resist self-care.
 

What does the research show?

Our research shows that there are some people that are doing better than others at dealing with these busy, time pressured lives. What makes them different? They treat self-care as non-negotiable. These are people from all walks of life, with different access to resources. 

For executives, it was often about maintaining peak performance, while for more blue collar workers it was about having fun and making the most out of life. 

What should you put into your week to help you be healthy and happy?

The one thing I think we should really push for in life is the time and space to meet our basic needs: good food, moving our bodies, rest and sleep, connection with others and connection with ourselves. 

My big trick for overcoming resistance to self-care is two-fold. Firstly, know you will resist and think of smug future you, who is so pleased with themselves for doing what you really need to feel great. Then make it as easy and clear as possible to look after yourself with these five steps (*writing it all down and having it somewhere you'll see it, is key).

      1. If you don't have an idea of your week and timing, take a few moments to sketch it out now.

     2. Next, decide what you're going to eat all week. If you're like most people I interviewed, there'll be one takeaway night, so choose when that will be handiest. Then pick any meals for the other nights and write down any extra ingredients you might need. Write this down so you don't have to think about it again.

    3. Now look at where you can add in moving your body – any physical activity. Add it in three times, it doesn't matter how long you do it for, or what type it is. We are animals, we need to move. 

   4. Pick someone you'd love to connect with and make a plan to spend time with them. It can be on the phone or Skype or in real life. Whatever and for whatever time you can manage. Anything will be good for you and a highlight. Choose to be really present and even 5 minutes will be amazing.

   5. Sketch out some time for you. This is likely to be first thing in the morning or later at night. What really makes you feel satisfied and calm? Drawing, playing music, writing (not for the professional writers), doing some random dancing or pilates in your living room? Just pick 5 minutes and an activity or two. 

Now apart from the food biz, which takes a bit more time, all these activities just require choosing the time and use about 5 minutes.

Everyone has time for this and it will transform your week and promote your health and wellbeing.

Let me know how you go!

With love,
Lara xx

P.S. Have you been thinking about giving yourself a boost by coming along to my Canberra or Melbourne workshops in September/October? Find out more about getting more confidence, clarity and learning to live with purpose here... do you want to let another year go by?

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

Lost loves: What have you given up that you loved doing?

We wonder why we have lost our spark, why we are oh so tired, why we end up online all night or in front of the tv. Could part of it be because we have let go of so many things that give us energy, happiness and satisfaction in the process of becoming 'adults'? When we rediscover the lost pursuits of happiness, life starts to sparkle again. It's life changing. What are your lost loves?

This morning, I felt a pull to draw. I decided to draw my hand. I gave myself permission to draw as it came – rough, out of practice, thoroughly imperfect (see the pic below!). I'm just getting back into drawing and art after a looonnnggg hiatus. You know, about 20 years.

You see, I stopped doing art when I was 16. I chose to do the 'academic' subjects instead and scarcely drew again. What was the point? I wouldn't be assessed on it.

When I was 18, I mostly stopped singing and performing after I chose to study science instead of singing at University. 

I stopped dancing when I was a teenager when I realised I didn't want to (or was too afraid to) do the work to compete nationally. 

My crappy hand :) I really enjoyed doing this! 

I look at how quickly I dropped doing the things I loved and how much fear was involved in those decisions and I have a twinge of sadness.

Some us of give up a lot to be efficient, productive, dedicated adults. I hear it in almost every coaching session – the fun, passion and creativity of these activities is overlooked and set aside in order to build careers and raise families.

We drop the things that give us life as they aren't seen as essential, productive or efficient. They use time or no clear outcome and are not often a part of earning us an income! 

The thing that I know for sure is that LIFE is not about being productive and efficient. That is just what we have been brainwashed to believe is important as good little workers for the market.

LIFE is about experiences, about creating and resting, playing and connecting. 

It is about reflecting and growing, about running and smelling fresh air. It is about starry skies and the pleasure of good food. 

The crazy thing is that the more we 'fill up our cups' with these loves, the better we are at everything – partnering, parenting, friending (not a word?) and, yes, working.

So what are your lost loves? Can you bring them home to your heart and make it glow so more?

Singing.

Connecting with friends and family.

Drawing.

Reading for pleasure.

Walks in nature.

Photography.

Fresh air.

Long weekends.

Writing.

Resting.

Playing.

Cooking for pleasure. 

Give yourself the gift of life today, even for a minute and feel the difference.

The journey back to ourselves is challenging, beautiful and worth every second.

All my love,
Lara xx

P.S. <<<Early bird offers ending 1st September! Don't miss out!>>

Let's bring more of what you love back to your life without fear sabotaging our desires. Get free to live your ideal life through my workshops in Melbourne and Canberra. 

Check out my very special short-course with Chafia Brooks – Revive: Mind and Body – (Three Sundays from 1-3pm, book now and get a free session with either me or Chafia!!) and my power workshop in  Canberra 'Unblocked' on the 15th October, also 1-3pm (early bird price $99).

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

How to do what you want (but don't get around to)

Do you make big plans, get all excited and then drop them just as fast?

"I'm running every day from now on!" "No more sugar!" "I'll be fluent in French by Christmas!". 

We all like the rush of a big plan but get frustrated when our plans don't work out in the long-run.

What if the real way to do what you want in life – all those great things you're keen to do but never seem to get around to – was to dramatically drop your expectations? To go big by going small?

How to go big by going small

I've made a handy step by step plan here. There are actually only four steps, but you can repeat them over and over :)

Step 1: Pick one think that lights your heart up when you read it.

Step 2: Think about how good it would feel to do it. Really marinate in it!

Step 3. What would need to happen for you to do it once? Yep, once, for five minutes. Not every day, not once a month. Once. For five minutes. Notice the limiting thoughts. Are you equating self-care with selfishness? Is there 'no time' (a simple trick, imagine I was giving you a million dollars to do this activity just once – where does the time appear?). 

Step 4. Do it once, for five minutes.

Step 5. Notice that it was possible! You did it! 

Step 6. Rinse, extend (or not), repeat.

It wont feel that exciting first up, you may even dismiss it. BUT it is in small steps that big, meaningful changes actually occur. Even leaps are made up of a million small choices and actions. Go small to go big!

Enjoy!

With love,
Lara xx

P.S. There are so many awesome things to do in life, things that make our hearts sore and our minds explode BUT often fear and disconnect sabotage our efforts. Thankfully, there are ways to deal with limiting thoughts, clever, simple ways that I can share with you and you can use forever. Get free to live your ideal life through my workshops in Melbourne and Canberra. Places are capped and we expect them to sell out, so please book early! 

Check out my Melbourne short-course with Chafia Brooks – Revive: Mind and Body – (Three Sundays from 1-3pm, you can so make time to change your life!) and my power workshop in Canberra 'Unblocked' on the 15th October, also 1-3pm.

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

How understanding fear can help you save the world (I'm serious).

We are in a truly critical time in history and believe it or not, you have power over which direction it goes. But it's also a scary time, so there are no surprises that fear that can stop you from making your mark. Are you really going to bow down, when fear is something you can learn to overcome? Of course not, you're braver and wiser than that!

Think for a minute about how fear shapes our lives from the smallest decision to the biggest leap. 

Any number of things can wave that flag of 'danger' to us and lead to fear, whether it be a funny look from a colleague (Have I done something wrong?) or an empty pantry (I must eat, now!). 

Fear thoughts run through our heads all day, but you can learn to recognise fear's 'greatest hits', get its useful messages and calm that scared part of us to make sure that you get done what you most want and need to.

That list of deep wants and needs will be exciting and scary.

That list of deep wants and needs is essential to living life to the fullest and making the world a better place. 

The important thing to note is that fear does not travel alone.

It is the leader of a tribe that hurts us all. The tribe includes anger, shame, hopelessness and despair.

Their work, unchecked, makes us feel paralysed, tired, unmotivated and makes us want to escape or to pick a fight. 

Learning how to work with fear is not only the key to your happiness, but to better outcomes for your community and the world. 

A few questions, to help you see how fear is influencing us right now...

When we are too overwhelmed to listen to our own fears, how do we listen to others?

When we are too scared to see ourselves, how do we see others?

When all we see is 'not enough' (fear thoughts!!), how will we provide for everyone?

When we don't meet our own needs, it's harder to meet the needs of the community.

If we are too intimidated to talk to someone we want to, how will we talk to someone we really need to connect with to help make the world better? 

now let's go really big.

Let's look at the biggest challenges in society now. Deep breathe and stay with me, because the alternatives ROCK!!

Climate change

I did some climate change research in the mid-2000s and was in contact with some of the best climate scientists in Australia. They talked over and over about people looking like 'deer in headlights'.

Basically, fear is f*cking up our chances of addressing climate change.

I'm only just able to accept this now, after coming out of a fear phase myself that left me apathetic and hopeless.

* People are afraid, so they ignore the science and don't act.

* Politicians are afraid to see the science, or afraid of the voters not supporting them, so they don't act.

* Climate activists are consumed by fear and anger and burn out.

Oy. Time to work on managing fear, no?

Race, gender, sexuality, age, dis(ability) relations

Let's be clear, the first step to working through the complexity of these relations is to recognise privilege - this is where fear stops us before we get started.

When we are too afraid to see our privilege, that is, the power we have over others due to money, race, gender, sexuality, age, physical ability, we aren't able to understand how the world really works and where the solutions lie.

It also means you're probably not connected to the people that hold the solutions – those being oppressed through experiences of racism, homophobia and other types of discrimination, at individual and structural levels. 

When we are afraid to let go of power or privilege then inequalities remain strong or grow. Fear runs high, people can feel isolated, powerless and hopeless. That does not lead to good. You only have to think of ISIS to see how this unfolds, but suicide and incarceration are also painful examples. 

When we are stuck in fear, we don't really see people or problems from the root cause, we just look at the surface. To use a medical example, it's like providing endless medication for a preventable disease. You end up with people still getting sick as well as antibiotic resistance!

Fear can make us blind, ignorant and to contribute to the problems of the world.

Fear can lead us to numbing and ignoring, to putting off plans, to staying at home, to giving up. To not taking time to understand how we can make things better, even a little better. 

fear is the master saboteur.

the great news is, YOU can work well with fear to save yourself and help heal the world.

It all starts with eavesdropping on your thinking, on noticing fear thoughts and soothing yourself. Hot tip: yelling at or ignoring fear do not work!

Get Four Ways to (nicely) Crush Crappy Thoughts

Crush crappy thoughts

Then learning that fear will always be around, but that's okay. Carrying on anyway. 

My work revolves around helping people to recognise and work well with fear, so that they can 'get out of their own way' and create their ideal lives. But more than that, my ultimate purpose is to help people positively impact the world, no matter their sphere of influence. 

I've got two events coming up soon that will teach you the basics in how to work well with fear!!

Check out my Melbourne short-course with Chafia Brooks – Revive: Mind and Body – (Three Sundays from 1-3pm, you can so make time to change your life!) and my power workshop in Canberra 'Unblocked' on the 15th October, also 1-3pm.

No excuses (we know that's just fear talking). Sign up today and bring a friend!

With love,

Lara xxx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.